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To Honor Vows Comes with Cost

Lucifer had to encourage the angel, as a duty and a brother. The way he had been pacing, sometimes literally, over one event to the point of agitating those around him was getting too much. Eventually the king made the request and Beelzebub complied, leaving Galahad early in the morning. Lucifer hadn't mentioned the purpose for fear of the war angel refusing, balking against the request. Not many openly challenged Lucifer and even fewer rebelled against him. One angel had, this one. However, help was needed and Lucifer knew why. He had traveled the same path at the Winter Solstice, a choice not lightly taken. This morning he shifted again to that feminine form, a support to her brother who was going to have a more difficult trial ahead of him.

There were so many things going on that Beelzebub entered the villa without truly knowing the reasoning for the summons. “King?”

Lucifer turned and the angel laughed as he corrected. “Queen?”

Her smile was bright and summery. Though Lucifer spent little time as a feminine angel he did find the bond to his creative forces easier to reconnect with in this guise. That wasn't the point at the moment though. “I have some important things to talk to you about.”

War cringed internally. Usually with Lucifer, important meant God was behaving badly or enacting some terror. He didn't respond, only waited with a raised and curious brow.

“First.” She approached her brother and gave him a hug that he warmly reciprocated before parting to a respectful distance. “I wanted to speak to you about your trip to Camelot. I trust you to be my voice there, but that is a secondary concern. Be sure to tell the King that your family and ruler has given their blessing for the union and will attend any functions or negotiations needed for cultural respect.”

Beelzebub's jaw dropped open in surprise. Out of all the things he imagined Lucifer calling him for, this was not even on the list. Though, his brother did have an inherent nature of knowing about everything, even those things rarely spoke of in public.

“That does bring us to another matter.” Lucifer's expression turned sly. “A dress will look like a disaster on this body.”

The angel's eyes widened and then he laughed with deep jovial relief. Why he had tension building was a mystery but his shoulders sagged with the exhaled breath.

“Have you had any success?” Lucifer busied herself pouring them both a drink.

“What do you think?” Sarcasm blossomed in Beelzebub's voice. “Belial is more of a girl than I am.”

Lucifer had a good laugh and offered her brother the wine glass. “I dare you to say that to him with a straight face.” She watches her brother down the glass of wine like it is water. It is easy to tell he is stressed over the situation. “I know this is important to you and I know how difficult it is to start the process. May I help you with it?”

“I can't find her. I've tried.” War complained.

“You have given up?” It was a directed prod at her brother. Giving up was not in his language and it was the perfect way to reinvigorate his confidence.

“No!” Beelzebub gave her a stern look.

“It will be easier in Chaos, within the rooms where I first changed.” Lucifer reassured as the other angel nodded. “This place does make the change more difficult, even for me.”

It was a short flight, a blink of an eye for an angel, to alight in the rooms. They were known, a safe space.

“Come sit with me.” Lucifer took her brother's hand pulling him toward the couch of carved stone. The king offered her brother a drink, more comfort to easy in the calm. There they sat in silence before Beelzebub spoke.

“How do I do this?”

She stroked Beelzebub's hair brushing the wild parts into thick strands. “I do not know what she will look like. Perhaps it would be best to undress. I have the armorers on call to make something suitable after the transformation, while you rest.”

He was out of his clothing before she could finish the sentence. Girlish giggles following at his eagerness to be free of clothing. Beelzebub attentively waited for more instructions.

“You must bring to mind what you believe feminine. It can help to focus on someone you see as very female and start with their traits.” She was patient with her brother. Even in heaven when the angels were all androgynous, or nearly so, Beelzebub was more masculine. The transition would be a rough one.

“Kind, compassionate, gentle, understanding...” He started to speak the traits to his sister. “I don't think I have those.”

Again the seraphim began to laugh as a loving hand rested on her brother's forearm. “I have seen how you look at your knight. Those traits are there in your eyes. Think about them and search for them in yourself. Those will be the tethers you use to bring her to into the open.”

The warlord grumbled his agreement. Brows knitted in intense concentration as Beelzebub stared blankly at the embroidered trim of Lucifer's dress. “I can't.” He spat the words out with frustration nearly a half hour had passed.

“You can.” She took his hand in hers and then pressed the palm to her chest. “Listen to me and let what I am guide you.”

Lucifer opened her essence to give her brother an anchor point for his own connections. The first signs started immediately. Wings clamped to War's back from the way his own essence resisted. Then he pitched forward into Lucifer's arms. Beelzebub grasped at the fabric of her gown, teeth grinding against the pain and accompanying tears. Hair began to length and lighten in color from sandy brown to straw golden. The grinding turned to screams when Lucifer felt shape of his physical form shifting. The shape changes were fluid enough but the cries indicated that his path was not a clear one. All the elder angel could do was watch in as featured softened, but not too much, until the cries died away to sobs.

“It is over.” She stroked Beelzebub's shoulders and pulled her closer. “Rest. You have won the battle.”

Words of encouragement whispered until the archangel slept. Lucifer did not move though she busied herself in giving out instructions to the armorers. While a dress would be more appropriate, these first few moments needed some recognition of the past self. Clothing was one method.

The exhaustion was deep and the archangel's presence flickered beneath, dull and quiet. When the royal armorers came they helps Lucifer dress her warlord. Boots similar to the ones she wore as a male, leather kilt and a strapped leather top made of furs. Beelzebub was going to hate it, but this was a necessary evil. In order to go to Camelot there would need to be even more clothing. It was better to get her accustom to it from the beginning. The last piece was a modified sword harness to accommodate her feminine body. His usual cross strapping was certainly not going to work with breasts, even if they were on the smaller side of average.

She was dressed and still sleeping when Lucifer's mind turned to how to help her when she woke from the rest. When he first pulled his female form in winter it had left her exhausted for days. This trial was more difficult. Beelzebub may sleep for hours. Her thoughts turned to the one person best suited for her to wake up near, the one person not in Chaos. Gathering her sister in arms she took to the sky, flying easily back to the villa. Gently she placed Beelzebub in the chambers they chose to stay in when they were last at the villa. Gentle as a mother, she folded her sister's wings comfortably and brushed the, now, even wilder hair out of her face. A pitcher of wine at the bedside she went to her PINpoint to send a brief text to Galahad.

When you have a moment, can you meet me at the villa. I need to speak with you.

Then she went back to watch over her sister, just in case she woke early. War's constitution was incredible, she might wake before the knight arrived. However, Lucifer would be there to greet Galahad in the foyer regardless of the her wakefulness.

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That earns another chuckle. "But it would be worth letting them get to know you. There may be less uncertainty or fear of you and what you are if we do." Because he knows there are bound to be people awed by being in the presence of angels.

"I don't know," he admits after a moment. "The only woman I've seen bared before is my mother, and that was when I was a child." A beat, and he stops to watch Beelzebub, confused. "Are you-- thinking about taking your clothes off now?" He can't imagine why the angel might, but then in the past Beelzebub has shown more than a little disdain for clothing in all circumstances, so it seems like this may be more of the same.

"I will." She smirks. "I look forward to meeting your people."

Though the response is odd to Beelzebub, it makes sense for what she knows of Galahad's culture. "No, but the shirt is irritating."

Truth is anything probably will be. Beelzebub is not used to wearing anything except sword straps on their chest. Shirts are going to take some getting used to. Though there was a legitimate reason for the question. "Lucifer says I should try to work up to staying this way for a few days at a time. I wanted to sleep without the shirt. It bothers me."

Maybe it would bother her less in the future but right now.. it might as well be a lice infested hair shirt for how it felt on her skin in the places that it pulled tight. It was only made worse by not being used to breasts, though hers are not overly large.

"I think it would be good to start off by sleeping in something loose, but that covers you," Galahad suggests. "I know you don't like clothes, but-- there's a reason why humans in the Nexus don't mind when you walk around without a shirt as a man. The chest is not as sacred of a place for a man as it is for a woman."

A pause follows those words, and then Galahad clasps his hands in his lap, fidgeting a little. "And I think, too, that it would be right that I try to treat you as a lady. How my people would expect me to do so, as part of the knight's chivalrous code."

Edited 2020-07-14 01:07 (UTC)

She listens but her expression slowly becomes confused. "I don't understand associating shame with sacred." However, her own thoughts catch up to circumstances and she nestles into him again. "I don't feel differently about my bodies."

It was true for his animal bodies, and now he was finding it to be true about the human ones too. The discomfort wasn't about the body itself but getting used to the feel of it, seeing that Galahad accepted it, and just learning to function generally in a different shape.

"What's expected of the knight code?" Beelzebub asks; both out of curiosity and the conversation seems to be calming both of them down.

"It's not about shame. It's about making something precious. If only one person gets to see a part of you, it makes that part special for you and that person who sees it." Galahad reaches to gently stroke the wing draped over him. "Some cultures may see it as shame, but that's my perspective on it. I would rather parts of your male body be bared only between us, too, the same way I would only share parts of my body with you." Galahad won't insist upon it or do anything to curtail the angel's freedom, but it is something of a romantic fantasy for him that they would only share some things with each other and no others.

"Women are to be cherished under the knight's code, as peoples who can't protect themselves as well as some men can. I know that's not-- true for you, but I'd want to treat you with respect and the deference that a woman should be. In public, at least. There are also ways that knights are meant to court ladies, although as two people already betrothed, we won't have to worry about that as much."

Edited 2020-07-14 19:19 (UTC)

"It is the Christian God who labels nudity shameful." Beelzebub doesn't follow his line of thinking at all. She tries and then just sighs. "It is unnatural to us. We were born without clothing. There's beauty to the form that we see no reason to hide though we do for convenience." Her brows knit up and she cocks her head. "You describe nudity the way others describe monogamous sex."

It wasn't judgement but something she noticed and a big difference between angels and humans perhaps. It truly made some things make sense in ways she hadn't put together before. Eventually, she giggles. "You know, our council meetings are often done with little, or no, clothing. It's what seems right."

As Galahad goes on she focuses, taking in what he's saying because it will be important. While Beelzebub wants nothing to do with many of the things the knight mentions, he's willing to enact many of them for his lover's honor.

"I think I'm going to make a bad courtly lady." She points out with eyes bright with humor. Maybe she should take Lucifer up on the offer to at least try and be lady-like, maybe?

"I know these customs are different from yours and conflict with the way you're used to living," he explains. He doesn't expect Beelzebub to respect Christian customs, but as a practical matter Galahad hopes he'll recognize the need for them in Arthur's court. "There's... not a lot I am able to do about that. I would never want to change how you're comfortable living, but it will create problems in Camelot if both of us don't try to observe tradition when in court."

He smiles slightly at Beelzebub's joke, and looks down at his hands again. Yes, he knows that this is going to be a struggle for both of them. But it's worth it. "Some things are forgivable. Arthur also trusts my word. I truly don't think it will be an issue as long as the most important customs are respected."

Beelzebub is at least listening and trying to absorb what it will mean to her. She takes one of Galahad's hands and holds it tight as a bit of reassurance. She might joke about this sometimes and be stuck in her ways, but if there were things that would damage Galahad's status she would swallow her pride.

"What are the most important customs?"

"I know this is difficult and strange, and that you've already gone above and beyond what many people would, if they were able to," the knight acknowledges, squeezing the angel's hand back.

"They are those we've talked about a few times before: being covered in public, respecting Arthur's position... Keeping private intimacy out of the court." He doesn't think Beelzebub would do anything that would endanger that, but the angel asked about the most important customs of Arthur's court and the knight wants to be thorough.

She leans her cheek against the hand she's holding. She nods against it while thinking. After a long moment of silence, Beelzebub swallows her pride and asks. "What else would you have me do?"

It feels so unnatural but it is necessary. She knows she's going to have to learn otherwise. Her own King... or Queen, valued someone who would go toe to toe with them and that was one of many things she would have to hold back in the presence of the rest of Galahad's people.

"That is most of what will be expected," Galahad explains calmly. Truthfully, what he knows about the responsibilities a queen might have comes to him from what he's seen Gwenhwyfar doing around the keep. He expects that there's more he doesn't know about. It's something he resolves to ask Arthur about the next time he returns to Camelot. "Women usually keep up the household and arrange ceremonies, but as queen you will have many women to assist with such things and take them over if you aren't interested in those kinds of duties."

A beat. "Most of what the queen is expected to do is... bear children." The knight can't really help the flush that rises to his cheeks as the conversation turns in this particular direction. "Sons are most valued by my people."

Beelzebub can only laugh to dispel the stress starting to rise up again. "They'll think you're a lucky man. I can cook, tend animals, mend armor, sharpen your sword, and fight beside you."

She's almost flirtatious with the teasing. Sometimes this was the only way to deal with something that had to happen and was nearly too stressful to consider. There are even more giggles as he blushes. Beelzebub is thinking about something Lucifer mentioned when he had first turned female around Balthazar. It makes her feel mischievous. "We'll both be virgins at least. I might not have all the advantages."

The knight's blush deepens at that, but he does appreciate the attempt at levity.

"Aye, it'll be something we'll be able to figure out together." Which does make the idea feel less like a duty and more like something they can share. "After that there won't be any need to worry about breaking my vows, either," Galahad realizes. "We'll be able to live freely in both Camelot and the Nexus."

She leans up and kisses him. "I can give you pointers."

But she falls away to snuggle against him and pull him close with her wing. "I'll be nice to be free of constraints."

She lays there tugging at the curls she loved so much. "We can get up. I'm feeling better."

It's a fast recovery, but Galahad's grateful that she's feeling better after the difficult wake up. He shifts off the bed and gives her one of his hands in the off chance that she isn't used to the way her new body moves yet and wants the support.

"What's next?" A beat. "Perhaps you should try things that you were used to in your old body to make the sensations familiar in this one," the knight suggests after a moment's thought.

Beelzebub had a way of rebounding long before she should. It was rooted deep in her place as war and to carry on relentlessly. She takes his hand with a smile as she sits up in the bed.

"Wrestling?" She doesn't give him a chance to react and yanks on his hand to pull Galahad into the bed, or her arms depending on how the pulling goes.

The knight stumbles forward in surprise when he's tugged, just managing to catch himself on his arms over the angel. He flushes deeply at their proximity, not really able to help it.

"Is this-- are you sure this is the right time?" It's Beelzebub so she's not really a woman (or a man, in all honesty) so much as an illusion, but it's a damn convincing illusion. So many reflexive chivalrous norms are clashing with everything about this right now, even as the knight realizes there's no reason they should.

Beelzebub can feel there is something off in Galahad's posture. However, the question confuses her.

"Right time?" She shifts to look into his eyes, her own brows knitted up. Eventually, when she can't place what has caused the change, she asks. "What's wrong?"

Her grip loosens on his arm. It seems like there's a miscommunication happening that she doesn't understand.

Edited 2020-08-06 02:43 (UTC)

Galahad shakes his head, rubbing at his cheeks as he sits up, willing the redness in his face to fade away.

"I just mean-- are there things we should try to do to help you get used to this body? We could practice helping you learn how to dance in this form, or spar...

There may be other things that have changed that could surprise you in the middle of acting in ways you're used to as a man too, aye?"

Beelzebub sat up hugging Galahad the same way she would have as a man.

"Is there a rush?" She's confused by the behavior. "We can spar and all those other things later. It's still early in the day."

The knight hesitates, considering those words. It seemed right to get started on the task of helping the angel better acclimate to this new form, crucially important as it'll be later on, but Beelzebub has a point. In the moment it's easy to forget the idea that the angel might want to linger, or rest after something like the transformation she'd just gone through. She seems energetic-- whether that energy is genuine, or something the angel's nature is urging her towards. Even after a few months together, the knight can't always predict angel physical reactions to different kinds of activities, let alone changing her illusions completely like this.

Galahad relaxes slightly. "No, there's no rush." A pause, and then he leans into the angel's hold when arms come around him. On the way, his fingers find a little of the fabric of the angel's clothes to touch, and curl into. "We should do what feels most right to you right now."

Edited 2020-08-07 01:31 (UTC)

She kisses him on the forehead just between the brows. Galahad is taking it good compared to some of the doom and gloom that Lucifer had thought might happen. "And you. I'm not the only one who has to get used to the change."

She pulls him just a little closer, apparently the change in body shape hasn't changed Beelzebub's strength. "You're going to have to get used to this body if I'm going to have to spend a lot of my life this way."

There's nothing wrong with Beelzebub's new female form in his eyes. Something small and indescribable doesn't quite connect for him inside in the same way as when he looks upon the angel's male form, but the longer he sits beside Beelzebub and listens to her, the more he realizes that there's nothing about the feeling that strikes him as off, or wrong. They're not used to being together like this, physically, even if all of the same feelings they have for each other are there. If his angel thinks she can live happily in a different body, then that feels to him like the most important concern here.

"I can do that." And it's something that he silently commits himself to doing. What exactly that means he's sure they'll find out along the way as they live their lives. (As they live their lives. The thought brings a small, warm smile to the knight's face.) Taking one of his hands away from the fabric of Beelzebub's shirt, he touches her face gently and with impossible fondness. "I apologize for all of the clothing Camelot's women" and especially the queen "have to wear in advance," he adds after a moment, aiming for a bit of levity.

She listens, leaning into the touch to her cheek. "Lucifer and I found some dresses that may be reasonable. He suspects I may have some leniency because I am from a different culture."

Beelzebub had no idea but it seems reasonable enough.

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To Honor Vows Comes with Cost

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